Question by Hugs, Amy: Do ya like my book so far?
rate this paragraph I Am Disturbed By: me.
Tonight, i couldn’t swallow. My eyes got big. I saw nothing, nothing more then, air. The Sounds are, REAL. I was at least 5 feet away from the door. I looked around. it would take 1.5 seconds, something i could not risk. It came from underneath me, breathing. The noise was disturbing. not like a normal breath, a long pitiful, breath. I suddly got cold. i felt something on my shoulder. I stood as still as rock. As the icey hands felt my back. The breathing again was back. the sound more blood chilling then ever. only this time it was right behind me. i went crazy, my mind finally snapped. After 4 years i finally broke down. i saw eyes glowing red eyes. i couldn’t stop staring, my mind was racing. My life flashed before my eyes. what what was it? “How did she die?” mary asked slightly crying. ” Were not sure yet miss, we are still investigating” The police officer said. ‘You have to find out now, im not staying in this house until you figure it out!” Mary stomped out of the room. “There, on the wall a blood stain.” “It looks as if there was a, well fight. See look the blood smeeres to the other side of the wall. it was like she was dragged along the wall.”
” That’s impossible!” mrs. Mage shrieked. ” i came in the second i woke up at 2 am. the room was just how i, i mean she left it.” ” Hmm. That’s interesting, because someone, or something did it well.” the police officer stammered.
im making another question like this with it revived. ( i made it better)
THANKS
its called do ya like my book so far?
LOL
SAME
HUGS GO CHEAK IT OUT NOW!!
Best answer:
Answer by Adrian
No, I give it a 5 out of 10. Try to work on your writing, and make it less simple. Also I would recommend fixing the spelling, grammatical, and punctuation/capitalization errors.
Give your answer to this question below!

Do you like my book so far? Its a paragraph of a book im writing rate and plz comment!?
Question by Hugs, Amy: Do you like my book so far? Its a paragraph of a book im writing rate and plz comment!?
This is a paragraph of a book im writing.
I am disturbed. By me
Tonight, i couldn’t swallow. My eyes got big. I saw nothing, nothing more then, air. The Sounds are, REAL. I was at least 5 feet away from the door. I looked around. it would take 1.5 seconds, something i could not risk. It came from underneath me, breathing. The noise was disturbing. not like a normal breath, a long pitiful, breath. I suddently got cold. i felt something on my shoulder. I stood as still as rock. As ticycey hands felt my back. The breathing again was back. the sound more blood chilling then ever. only this time it was right behind me. i went crazy, my mind finally snapped. After 4 years i finally broke down. i saw eyes glowing red eyes. i couldn’t stop staring, my mind was racing. My life flashed before my eyes. I almost swore i was about to die, Then it all went black. i heard sounds and cold hands touching my almost lifeless body. my mind is out of control. yet my body was stiff. I couldn’t move i was frozen. My mind was telling my body to scream but i could not. it was impossible, it was like trying to move 10 tons of solid rock by hand, impossible. I felt my heart slow down to my last heart beat, finally my heart stopped. July 7, 2000 i was dead.
“How did she die?” Mary asked slightly crying. ” Were not sure yet miss, we are still investigating” The police officer said. ‘You have to find out now, im not staying in this house until you figure it out!” Mary stomped out of the room. “There, on the wall a blood stain.” “It looks as if there was a, well fight. See look the blood smears to the other side of the wall. it was like she was dragged along the wall.”
” That’s impossible!” Madge Mage shrieked. ” i came in the second i woke up at 2 am. the room was just how i, i mean she left itHm” Hmm. That’s interesting, because someone, or something did it well.” the police officer stammered. ” Amy?” “yes?” i replied ” do you have any ideas on what could have happened to your sister?” My heart sank.
I could answer, but i dide’nt want to. wouldn’t believelive me!
I would sound like a maniac. But i had to. “um, (sigh) every night she would tell me she heard things. it scared me.
THAT’S MY NEW PARAGRAPH RATE IT 1-10
THANKS
HUGS
AMY
look for more of the story.. i added on to it, on another question! ENJOY finding it. Lol go to my account and look at my questions newest one HUGS
Best answer:
Answer by Audrey M
way cool! 10
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